Sometimes we don’t feel quite as strong as at other times, I’ve learnt it’s ok not to be ok and it’s healthy to stop in the hectic ness of everyday routine and take stock of your emotions, make time for yourself your feelings, worries and anxieties and set realistic goals so you can feel you’re making progress and healing. So often we make feel an obligation to be strong, to be brave, put on a front and mask the pain and uncertainty we may feel when we wake each morning and have to face a day. Each of us go through a drastic change in our life at some point some more frequently than others. No one person or families ordeal is the same and we shouldn’t feel that we should put ourselves in their shoes they wouldn’t want you to go through the pain with you because they feel guilty enough without making it consume another’s emotions and life. Just one event or change in circumstance can change your life for life, whatever change in life we are going through we are dealing with at our own speed in our own way and the journey we make in dealing with these experiences and the involuntary impact they have on us.
If anyone sees any similarities in coping mechanisms after loss as me they may be feeling a combination of guilt, regret and remorse… guilt for still living and giving life and happiness a go, regret for not being able to go back and make changes, say the words of love and compassion you failed to say, or unsay the harsh words or enter in to the final argument or disagreement you had. Resentment and regret for what was said or left unsaid in those final occasions together are only natural… these feelings will cause anger and fear for the future state of yours and your family’s existence. However from my own experience you will find that a natural progression through loss is a gradual realisation that through a narrow gloomy tunnel of sorrow a beacon of hope will emerge and in time overcome the darkness. My loved ones would want me to live, love and laugh again. I hope in time that all those who are reading this take some reassurance from my words and find comfort in their memories and loved ones.